i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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