We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
