32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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