Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
