There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
