I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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