So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
