you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
