Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
