we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize