So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Randomize
