one two three fourrrrnication!
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
