This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
