So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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