ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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