I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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