mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
