then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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