The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
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Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
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It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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