Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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