did you get engaged???
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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