john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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