Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My vagina just recognized that song.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
