dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
