If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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