I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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