How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
