At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
