and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
