oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
