there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
