Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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