he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
two words: eviction party
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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