no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
