Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
