You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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