she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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