So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
