wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
