the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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