he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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