so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
