Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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