He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
