Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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