some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Rumble strips road head = magical
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
