I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize