Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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