Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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