youre lurking in front of me
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
