Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
