Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
