Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
