Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
