sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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