all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize