Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize