i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
