we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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