Having a random hookup so left but love u
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
