The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
How drunk are you?
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