I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
