I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
